


Bled and Fought for you

by DepressedMuffin



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, George is a gay kid afraid of being gay, Henry Laurens' A+ Parenting, His dad isn't that great here, Homophobia, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jacob Eacker's A+ Parenting, M/M, Musical References, My First Fanfic, Nonbinary Marquis de Lafayette, Philip hates John at first, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tears, These kids do a lot of underage shit, Trans Female Character, Trans Theodosia, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Smoking, cri, like we hurt him alot, no but really Pip's life is awful, we hurt Pip sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-10 03:58:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10428609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DepressedMuffin/pseuds/DepressedMuffin
Summary: Au in which Philip and Alexander are brothers. And in foster care and we hurt Philip a lot so sorry. But they meet the Washington's and Laf and his friends.Alexander falls for John at first sight and is 'helpless'. Which makes pip kinda jealous but he gets his happiness soon.





	1. Meet the Washingtons

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. this is my first fan fiction and its pretty bad so far. okay enjoy i guess.

Alexander and Philip sat in the back seats of their social worker, Ms. Diaz', car as they were taken to their new foster home.

Philip rested his head on his brother, Alexander's, shoulder as he slept, snoring silently. Alexander looked at his younger brother, with a small smile. Ever since their father left, mother died and cousin committed suicide, His younger brother was all he had left.

His smile disappeared as his eyes fell to the bruises on his younger brother’s arms, Philip had taken his hoodie off before he fell asleep, leaving his bruises exposed.

Philip didn't deserve it, he was so pure and innocent, it’s rare that kids don't get separated from their siblings in foster care. It hurt him that he couldn't always protect his brother from the abuse of their previous foster parents. He hated leaving Philip with anyone he didn't trust, he regrets it every time he did, thinking what was so important that he had to leave.

He sighed leaning back in the seat closing his eyes, hoping to get some sleep.

* * *

“Philip. Alexander.” Ms. Diaz said, causing Alexander to jump slightly. "We're here." She says turning off the car.

Alexander ended up not falling asleep, which was fine since he wasn't tired. 

He shook Philip gently, "Hey, Pip. Wake up..." He said as the younger male mumbled in his sleep.

Philip sat up stretching and rubbing his eyes. He looked around then looked at his brother, scared. Alexander pulled his brother into a hug

"It's going to be okay" He said, not even believing himself "Alright?" Philip nodded, putting on his hoodie and got out the car followed by Alexander.

Ms. Diaz got out and walked up to house knocking on the door. Alexander hadn't noticed before but the house was huge. He looked over to his brother who was just as amazed at the size of the house as he was. Both boys walked up to house and stood by Ms. Diaz just as a tall, dark skinned male opened the door. Alexander froze as he looked at the tall man. Philip must have noticed, because he squeezed Alexander’s hand him a small smile. Alexander knew what Philip was thinking and hated it, but decided to ignore it for the time being.

A shorter woman came out and stood by the man, with a smile. “Hello Ms. Diaz” She said and looked at the boys. “You must be Alexander and Philip.”

Her voice was soft and kind but Alexander didn’t want to let his guard down. He nodded. “Yes ma’am.” He said quietly, gripping the strap of his backpack

“Alexander, Philip, this is Mr. and Mrs. Washington. George, Martha, these are the Hamilton’s.” Ms. Diaz said “Well I’d love to stay and chat but I have things to attend to. I trust you’ll take very good of these two?” “Of course,” George replied.

_'He’s a liar. They’re all liar’s’_

_‘As soon she’s gone they’ll— ‘_

Alexander was removed by his thoughts as Ms. Diaz said bye. “If you need to contact me you both have my number” She said then looked at the two boys “Will you two be okay” She asked with a small smile.

“Yes.” Alexander said as Philip just nodded.

“Okay.” She said smiling. She then waved, got in her car, and drove away.

George and Martha led the two into the house. “Your rooms are upstairs, I can show you them if you’d like.” Martha said, as George locked the door behind him. Alexander jumped as he heard the lock click.

“Yeah that’s... that’s fine” Alexander said trying his best not to stutter. He wasn’t sure if they had noticed he was nervous or not, though he hoped they hadn’t.

 Martha led them up the stairs past many rooms. “This is Gilbert’s room,” Martha said stopping in front of a door. “You’ll meet them when they get back from school.”

Alexander and Philip both looked at each other. They weren’t aware the Washington’s had a kid. “and these are your rooms” Martha said pointing to two rooms across from 'Gilbert’s'.

“This is your room Alexander.” She said opening one of the room doors. Alexander’s eyes widened as he looked around the room. It was huge, there was a bookshelf next to a window and a desk with a chair under it. Next to the desk was a large bed and at the other side of the room was a dresser. “Is this really mine...?” He asked Martha.

She smiled and nodded then turned to Philip. “And this room is yours” She said pointing to the room next to Alexander’s.

“Thank you…” Philip said very quietly.

Martha smiled “I’ll leave you two alone till dinner. If you need anything tell me or George.” She said making her way down stairs.

 

Alexander quickly put all his clothes away, which was few. He put the books he’d brought with him from Nevis on the bookshelf. The last thing in his backpack was a worn notebook. He took it out of his backpack and smiled as he held it close, remembering how he got it.

* * *

  _Alexander laid in his bed curled up next to his mother. He was the first one to get sick._ _He was coughing and struggling to breath, while his mother played with his hair and sang quietly to him, holding him close. They heard a knock at the bedroom, as the door opened slightly._

_“_ _Ma, Alex… Can I come in…?” asked a small voice. “_

_Yes baby” Rachel said. A young Philip came into the room, with his backpack on. and crawled onto the bed._

_"Is Alex getting better Ma…” he asked._

_Rachel smiled “yes, mi querido” She said. “Your brother will be okay.”_

_Alexander didn’t believe that. He was beyond sure he was going to die._

_“_ _Alex I got you a present!” Philip chirped happily pulling out a dark purple notebook with ‘Alexander’ on the front in emerald green letters and handing it to him.  Alexander took the notebook and stared at it. It was amazing. Words didn’t exactly describe how amazing, he’d have to find a word in the dictionary._

_“_ _Do you not like it?” Philip asked with a sad look in his eyes, removing Alexander from his thoughts._

_“Of course, I love it… why wouldn’t I?” he asked looking at Philip, confused._

_“You’re crying”_

_He put a hand up to his face and felt tears running down his cheeks. He hadn’t realized he was crying._

_“Well…” Alexander tried to explain he wasn’t sad. “Sometimes when people are really happy they cry Pip…” He said finally. “You made me really happy” He finished wiping away the tears, smiling._

_“_ _Now go do your homework Philip” Rachel told Philip, patting him on the head._

_Philip nodded and hopped off the bed and left the room. After Philip left more tears started to leave Alexander’s eyes._

_“Ma… This must have cost Pip so much…” He said wiping away tears. ”I don’t…”_

_He starte_ _d coughing and choking on tears._

_Rachel pulled him close. “Shh... Philip cares about you so much Alexander… So just cherish this gift for the rest of your life.” She said smiling. “Just Cherish it.”_

* * *

 “Cherish it.”

He repeated to himself. He put the notebook in the drawer of the desk by the bed. He noticed there was a lock on the drawer and key on the desk. He decided to lock the drawer and put the key under the pillow on his bed.

“Cherish it…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me some feedback please :'))  
> If i spell anything wrong please do tell..


	2. everyone give it up for america's favorite fighting french babe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tw for eating disorders I think that's all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty awful, I'm surprised it has 100+ hits and any kudos but thanks and enjoy.Also I'm bad at starting stories so yeah the beginning is pretty awful.

Philip sat on his bed. He’d already put all his belongings away, except for a picture frame which he was holding. It was a brown wooden picture frame and inside it was a picture of his mother. He held it close to his chest and sighed, falling back on the bed.

“I like it here Ma… Everything is so big and pretty colors, but,” He brought his legs up onto the bed and turned on his side. “There isn’t an ocean here, I miss the ocean.” Tears started to fall from his eyes “I miss you Ma…”

* * *

 Alexander sat at his desk reading. He’d found a door (which he had failed to noticed before) that connected his and Philip’s rooms, and he found a small closet. Philip had fallen asleep in his room, so now he was reading. He was so in his book he didn’t notice the light footsteps ascending the stairs and someone opening his door.

“Bonjour mon ami!” Exclaimed the stranger. Alexander was so startled he fell out of the chair.

“Oh, I’m sorry! Did I startle you?” They asked reaching out a hand to help him up.

“Are you Gilbert...?” Alexander asked.

“That is what the Washington’s call me as it is one of my many, many, names.” They replied “But you may call me Lafayette, as all my friends do!”

“I’m Alexander, you can call me Alex… It’s nice to meet you?” Alexander said, though it sounded more like a question. Alexander took Lafayette’s hand and pulled himself up.

“So, you’re French?” He asked.

“Oui, Martha and George are my adoptive parents” They said smiling though there was a sad look in their eyes.

‘ _They remembered something, you made them remember something painful.’_ Alexander told himself

“Oh” was all he could say.

“Oh, don’t you have un frère, mon ami?” Lafayette asked.

Alexander nodded. “Yes Philip. He might be asleep though” he said, but Lafayette was already halfway out the door. “I won’t bother him if he is!”

* * *

 Philip didn’t know it but he had fallen asleep. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He heard a new voice coming from Alexander’s room. 

“Oh, don’t you have un frère, mon ami?” They sounded like they had a French accent.

“Yes Philip. He might be asleep though”

”I won’t bother him if he is!”

The voice was now at the front of his door and the door opened. “He’s awake!”

Someone with dark brown skin and brown curly pulled up into ponytail barged into the room, with a wide smile followed by Alexander. “Bonjour mon ami, Je m'appelle Lafayette. You are Philip, non?”. 

Philip just nodded looking at them with wide eyes as Alexander sat beside him on the bed.

‘Everyone here smiles a lot’ he thought.

“George and Martha call me Gilbert but my friend’s call me Lafayette” They said smiling.

Philip nodded “It’s nice to meet you.” He said with a small smile.

Lafayette sat on the bed and they all talked for the next few hours (though Philip did the least talking). Philip warmed up to Lafayette fast and he was sure Alexander had to. Lafayette was beyond happy when he found out Alexander and Philip both spoke fluent French and Lafayette ended up telling them they were nonbinary (Which accidentally slipped when they were ranting about a certain ‘Charles fucking Lee’).

“Lee sounds like a complete ass” Alexander said shaking his head. “Homophobic, Transphobic prick.”

Lafayette laughed “yeah he is a real, Fils de—” They were interrupted when Martha called them down to dinner.

“Mon amies, after diner I can show you both around the house, Oui?” Lafayette said jumping up from the bed as Philip and Alexander nodded.

“Fantastique!” They said pulling both boys up from the bed.

Philip had forgotten he was holding his mother’s picture and dropped it as he was pulled up.

“Oh, what is that mon ami?” Lafayette asked picking up the picture.

“That’s—” Philip took the picture away from them holding it close looking down.

“That’s our mom…” Alexander answered for Philip.

“Oh.”

There was silence for a few seconds before Lafayette broke it. “We don’t want to keep Martha and George waiting, Oui?” they asked nervously.

Philip shook his head setting the picture down on his bed. “No…. I suppose not” Alexander said.

* * *

Alexander and Philip sat on both sides of Lafayette and Martha and George sat on the opposite side of the table as they all ate. Everyone was talking about their day, though Lafayette was doing most of the talking. Philip smiled as Lafayette talked about how much they wanted to punch Lee in his 'Stupid transphobic face' and Martha tried to tell him not to be so loud at the table. Philip looked down at his half empty plate. He was surprised he’d managed to eat any of it.

_‘you’re eating too much’_

Suddenly the thought of eating more made him feel nauseous. He closed his eyes putting a hand over his mouth and his other arm around his stomach.

“Philip, dear are you ok?” Martha asked. Philip looked up to see her and George looking at him with worried eyes.

“N-no… I mean I’m fine” He said with a small smile and stood up “Um where is the bathroom…” He asked.

“Down the hall to the left, are you sure you’re alright mon ami?” Lafayette asked with an equally worried expression.

“Yes, I’m fine” Philip said then ran to the bathroom. He locked the door and slammed the toilet seat open and got on his knees. Next thing he knew everything that he’d eaten was spilling out of him. He felt tears running down his face as he flushed the toilet. His throat hurt and he could taste vomit in his mouth. He sat back against the wall breathing heavily. He closed his eyes and sat there for a few minutes before hearing a knock at the door, which caused him to jump.

“Pip are you okay?” It was Alexander

“We are worried, Philip…” and Lafayette

“I’m fine” he said weakly, standing up and walking over to the sink.

“Are you sure?” Philip turned on the sink, throwing water on his face and rinsing the terrible taste his mouth out.

“Yeah...” Philip said opening the door and faking a smile and looking up his brother and foster sibling. “I’m just going to sleep…” He said pushing past them and running up the stairs to his room.

He closed the door behind him and collapsed on his bed. He rolled onto his side and looked at the picture of his mother that was on his bed side and tears started to l fall from his eyes.

“I’m sorry Ma... I know you hate it when I waste…” He cried choking on tears.

_‘Ma hates you’_

_‘you’re so wasteful’_

_‘Martha must have worked hard to cook for you and you wasted it’_

_‘you’re so ungrateful’_

Philip put his hands over his ears trying to block the voices out “I’m sorry…” he said quietly to himself, crying himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations-  
> Bonjour mon ami- Hello my friend  
> Oui- Yes  
> Un frère- a brother  
> Je m'appelle- My name is  
> Fils de- Son of  
> Mon amies- My friends  
> Fantastique- Fantastic
> 
> petition to stop word from saying i spell french words wrong  
> I type my stories in word first  
> It took another three days to write th i s  
> also I'm sorry I love Pip but I also love writing angst oops  
> and if anyone gets the one reference i put in there sorry  
> also that door between Philip and Alexander will be important later on wink wonk;)  
> and hopefully we get to lams in the next chapter. k bye


	3. in which everyone is worried about pip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It didn't take three days hecc only two. Also i'm going back home so I'll have school but next week is spring break for me so i'll get out 2 or 3 chapters by next Wednesday I hope anyway enjoy. this is a very poorly done chapter hopefully the next is better.

“Yes, I’m fine” Philip said before running to the bathroom leaving everyone with worried expressions.

“Will Philip be okay mon ami?” Lafayette asked looking at Alexander. “He looked awfully pale”

Alexander didn’t look at him and bit his lip “If he says he’s fine, he’s fine.” He replied. He really didn’t know and he hated it. He hated when he didn’t know something especially about his brother.

“Please Alexander. If there is something wrong with him tell us so we can help” Martha said putting her hands on his.

He pulled his hands away and stood up. “Why would you want to help him! You don’t even know him!” He yelled.

__‘why am I upset’_ _

“Alexander, Son, please calm down” George said trying to calm him down, but he just seemed to get more upset

“I am NOT your son!” Alexander yelled storming of in the direction Philip had previously gone.

He stood in the hall for a few minutes before cursing under his breath.

“Look what you’ve gone a done Alexander… If they didn’t hate you before they hate you now!” Alexander screamed to himself.

“No one hates you, mon ami” said a voice causing Alexander to jump.

“Lafayette please stop doing that” Alexander said turning around to face them.

“Oh sorry mon ami” They said with a small smile.

Alexander wondered how someone could always be so happy. “How could they not hate me? I’m being such an asshole” Alexander said looking at his feet.

“Oh Alexander...” Lafayette said putting their hands on Alexander’s shoulders. “Don’t say such things about yourself, Martha and George won’t stay mad. They will understand.” They said.

“You think so?” Alexander asked looking up at them.

“I know so” Lafayette said smiling.

Alexander smiled and nodded. “Thanks” He said.

The two of continued walking down the hall till they reached the bathroom.

“I wanna check on Pip” Alexander said then knocked on the door. “Pip are you okay?” He asked.

“We are worried, Philip…” Lafayette said. It was quiet for a few seconds before they heard Philip.

“I’m fine” they heard him say on the other side of the door.

“Are you sure?” Alexander asked. They heard the water faucet turn on and the sound of water splashing.

“Yeah, I’m good” Philip said as he opened the door and looked up at them. “I’m just going to sleep…” He said pushing Alexander and Lafayette to the side and running past them.

Alexander felt his world falling apart as he watched his brother run. He could feel his brother hiding something from him. His brother didn’t trust him. His brother doesn’t want him to know something.

“Alexander, are you alright?” Lafayette’s voice brought him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah… Yeah, I’m fine” Alexander said, letting out a sigh. “You still need to show me around, Lafayette” He said putting on a smile trying to forget about what had happened.

Lafayette smiled back “Why don’t you just call me Laf, Mon ami. Lafayette is a bit of a, how you say, mouthful, non?”

“Well so is Alexander don’t you think?”

“Touché” They both stood in silence for a minute before bursting out in laughter.

“Oh Alex, I cannot wait for you to meet mon amies, they will love you!” Lafayette said with a huge smile. “Oh, and that reminds me. You, Philip, and I are going shopping with my friends tomorrow.” they added.

“W-what? But I don’t really need anything.” Alexander stated.

“Sure, you do mon ami” Lafayette said still smiling. “And no, you can’t talk me out of taking you. Now I’ll give you a tour of the house so you can rest for tomorrow.” They finished.

Alexander sighed deciding not to argue with Lafayette as they dragged him around the house. 

* * *

 George and Martha were in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner. Neither of them were talking after what happened with Philip, though they both were sure they knew exactly what had happened, then finally George spoke up.

“We need to talk to him about it Martha”

“We can’t just ask him about it George, it’s difficult for children his age to admit they need help and bulimia is less common in males so he may be more hesitant to talk to us about it.” Martha said as she continued washing dishes.

“Martha he’s sick” He retorted trying not to raise his voice.

“I want to help him as well George, but we need to give the boy time. Wait till he’s comfortable with us.” She said scrubbing harder at dishes.

“Martha—”

“George please” She walked over to him and held his hands.

“I care about those boys just as much as you do. I know you want what’s best, but like I said give them time. Let them get comfortable with us. Philip and Alexander have been through so much in their short lives.”

George sighed and smiled at his wife “you’re right” She smiled at him.

“Of course, I’m right.”

* * *

 After Lafayette and Alexander finished their tour they went to their own rooms. Alexander laid down in his bed staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t sleep mostly because he was nervous about the next day. What if Laf’s friends didn’t like him.

In his previous foster homes, he didn’t really bother making friends. Most of the kids hated and didn’t know him. He had a bad habit of fighting people as well. There was always a good reason of course. Kids were either stupid enough to pick on Philip or they were just plain stupid all together.

He didn’t want Lafayette to hate him so he’d have to hope his friend weren’t as terrible as the others. He sighed and closed his eyes. 

“please don’t let tomorrow be shit”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very poorly done chapter and hopefully none of the future ones are as bad as this one(It also didn't exceed my 1000+ words per chapter so i'm mad at myself)  
> I know i said lams this chapter i'm sorry next chapter i promise.  
> I'm writing this as i go along so yeah.  
> Also in most fan fics it is popular that Lafayette calls Alexander 'mon petite lion' which means 'my little lion' since we put little Philip in this fic what would Lafayette call him? comment a suggestion below please :'). Bye have a nice day.


	4. broken bowls and helpess boys(or Mall time for real)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Herc and John join the party. Hoorah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for self hate i guess?? warning first paragraph is awful. and a sorry to everyone who got salty when I tricked y'all on April fools. okAY NOW MALL TIME--

Philip woke up and stretched before looking out the window to see the sun slowly rising. He got out of bed and got a pair of clothes out of the dresser so he could take a shower. He spent half an hour just trying to find the upstairs bathroom and regretted not staying up for Lafayette’s tour last night.

He took a quick shower and got out since he figured Lafayette and Alexander still had to shower. When he turned the water off he noticed that he’d forgotten to grab towel. He just decided to let himself air dry as he was not about to look around this huge ass house, naked, just to get a towel. As he stood there as he looked in the big mirror at himself in disgust. He frowned and turned to his side and noticed how skinny he was. He wasn’t extremely skinny just slightly underweight.

Just slightly.

He hated himself. He hated how he couldn’t eat properly without throwing it all back up, he hated his hair, being all poofy and shit, and he hated his freckles. Why the hell did he have so many?

He tore his eyes away from his reflection in the mirror and decided to he was dry enough put his clothes on. He put on denim shorts and a shirt with a dinosaur on it. He then spent another half hour looking for the laundry room and threw his clothes in a hamper that was in the corner.

Philip walk back to his room and jumped onto his bed. He looked back out his window to see the sun still wasn’t completely up yet. He looked over at the picture of his mom and smiled. “Good morning Ma…” He said then forced himself back up and wandered out of his room downstairs and into the kitchen.

He instantly felt regret when he remembered how he didn’t eat the food Martha had prepared for him. Well he ate half of it but what goes down comes right back up for Philip. He then thought of a great idea (not really) as he looked in the pantry for pancake mix which luckily, they had.

He found a pan, a glass mixing bowl, measuring cups and spoons for stirring then he stared to mix together the needed ingredients. He poured the mix into pan. He hummed a small song to himself as finished and started to wash the dishes feeling accomplished.

* * *

 Alexander sat at his desk reading. He hadn’t fallen asleep despite trying. He wasn’t bothered since he wasn’t tired and didn’t feel he really to needed sleep. He got up and quickly took a shower before heading back to his room to read. He peeked in Philip’s room to see he wasn’t there. He’d assumed that Philip was downstairs and decided to go downstairs instead of his room. 

“Alexander!” Lafayette said as they peeked out of their room. Alexander turned to look at them.

“good morning Laf” He said with a smile.

“Did you sleep well, mon petite lion?” They asked smiling as they both started walking downstairs.

Alexander took a second to think of a response, not knowing if he should just lie about it or admit he didn’t sleep. Before he could answer they heard what sounded like glass breaking downstairs. They both rushed down the stairs and to the kitchen to see Philip quickly trying to pick up the glass shards off the ground.

“Oh, petite Philip!” Lafayette said running to his side along with Alexander

“Pip are you okay?” Alexander asked, noticing that there were a few cuts on his hands from the glass. Philip looked up at them with tears in his eyes, but didn’t say anything.

“I’ll get Martha and George—” Lafayette started to get up but Philip grabbed their wrist and shook his head.

“No please don’t tell them!” He pleaded as he looked up at Lafayette.

“Philip—”

“Don’t tell! Please Lafayette…” Philip begged.

Lafayette sighed and nodded with a smile “Alright, mon chou” They said helping Philip stand up.

Alexander stood up as he’d realized that Lafayette had given them both little pet names. Lafayette swept up the rest of the glass and then got a first aid kit for Philip’s hands.

“Oh, mon chou” Lafayette started after putting everything back in the first aid kit. “We are going shopping with my friends in” They pulled out their phone to check the time “une heure”

“Oh I don’t—”

Lafayette hushed him and pat his head, Smiling. “Oh, mon chou. Yes, you do” they said standing up and going upstairs to get ready. Both Alexander and Philip looked at each other and laughed. Alexander sat back against the couch.

‘I like it here’

* * *

 

**(Poorly written time skip sorry)**

By the time, Lafayette finished getting ready (which took a little more than an hour and a half) George and Martha had already gone downstairs and eaten. When It was time to go, Lafayette kissed both their adoptive parents on the cheek and got in his car along with Philip and Alexander and drove to the mall. The ride consisted of them talking about, literally, random shit.

“—And therefore, chocolate is a salad” Philip finished as Lafayette turned off the car.

“It doesn’t work like that pip.” Alexander said as they all got out the car.

“you don’t know that” Philip retorted as they walked into the mall.

Lafayette opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted when someone called his name. “LAFAYETTE, YOU BURNT BAGUETTE”

Alexander look to see two males walking towards them. Lafayette walked over to them and began giving a reason for why he’d been late, and the taller of the two males was yelling and complaining he was nearly two hours late while the shorter male laughed at them. Alexander and Philip stood where they were before Lafayette waved them over, and they nervously walked towards the group.

“Philip, Alexander, these are mon amies, John and Hercules. John, Herc these are my brothers”

Alexander was confused when Lafayette just said brothers. He doubted he and Philip would stay long. They never stayed anywhere more than a month and he knew he was going to mess everything up, but he decided to put the though aside.

He looked at Hercules. He was slightly shorter then Lafayette but then again, all of them were shorter than Laf. He had a rather large build and a band tied around his forehead.

He then turned and looked at John and froze. John looked a lot like Philip except taller and Philip was slightly darker. His curly brown hair was tied back in a ponytail, he had freckles and was so attractive that words couldn’t describe.

“It’s um... It’s A pleasure to meet you” He said reaching out to shake John’s hand. When the freckled male took his hand, Alexander felt everything stop. Not in a bad way. Not in the way everything stopped when his mother died or when he’d found his cousin hanging from the ceiling. He didn’t feel cold and terrified. He felt warm inside and felt like his heart was going to burst.

“It’s nice to meet you, Alexander.” John said smiling. Alexander couldn’t help but smile back. He was beyond sure that there were hearts where his pupils should be. His face felt warm and as he pulled his hand back he realized-

_‘I’m Helpless’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't done writing this when I said it would be up on the 2nd so that's why it's so late. I also have been going through a lot these past 3 days so yeah. But who cares about that. Someone needs to tell Philip he's beautiful because holy hecc he needs to be told that before he dies for starvation or some shit.


	5. OH shopping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont even know if anyone reads this anymore but enjoy I guess. Tw for mentions of eating disorders. ANd this is a pretty bad chapter sorry.

Philip smiled at John and Hercules. They didn’t seem mean like the kids at other foster homes, which was good of course. What he didn’t like was the way that Alexander looked at John. He had this look in his eyes. The look in his eyes was the same look someone had when they saw their soon to be spouse walking down the aisle on their wedding day. It made him feel sick and he didn’t know why. He didn’t know what he was feeling.

_‘Hatred’_

_‘Maybe fear’_

_‘or maybe even Jealousy’_

Philip was so in his thoughts he didn’t notice the others had started walking forward

“Mon chou, are you okay?” Lafayette asked looking back at him. Philp looked up at Lafayette and nodded.

“Yeah. I’m okay.” Philip said with a fake smile. He wasn’t sure Lafayette was convinced but they left him alone about it. They caught up with the rest of the group and went into a phone store.

“I don’t need a phone” Philip and Alexander said in unison.

“Sure, you do.” Lafayette said and dragged the two over to the phones. Philip almost passed out at the prices.

“These are really expensive.” Alexander said as Philip nodded in agreement.

“No worries, mon amies. Martha and George said to get you both phones and clothes and such”

“But we don’t really need any of that” Philip stated not wanting money wasted on them when they were going to be sent to another home in a week anyway.

Lafayette sighed “John, mon ami, go help them find phone cases.” Lafayette said pushing the three of them away.

Philip looked at cases while Alex and John mostly talked. Philip looked over at Lafayette and Hercules to see them looking at Alex and John and smiling.

Philip focused back on the phone cases trying to distract himself, which wasn’t working of course. Philip could feel the sick feeling getting stronger. He wanted to vomit but he hadn’t eaten anything that day. He took a phone case with a small turtle on it and gave it to Laf.

“Mon chou you like turtles? John is also rather fond of turtles.” They said with a smile.

Philip smiled ignoring the last sentence and looked at Hercules and then back at Lafayette.

“Etes-vous tous les deux en train de sortir?”  Philip asked.

Lafayette turned red and shook his head “Non, non, non! Nous ne sommes pas!” Philip laughed.

John and Alexander made their way to the others and Laf paid for everything.

Philip played with his sleeves not wanting to see how much everything was, while Alexander tried to tell Laf they didn’t need to spend so much money on the phones and Lafayette just laughed while paying.

* * *

 They then spent the next six hours getting clothes and some things for school, though most of the time Lafayette and Hercules were arguing over what clothes and colors looked best on Philip and Alexander. Eventually everyone decided to get something to eat and went to a McDonalds ( **G R O S S** ) that was in the mall. Alexander sat next to John while Philip sat next to Lafayette and Hercules. Philip bit his thumb as he thought to himself. He couldn’t eat anything here. He didn’t eat anyway and he didn’t want to eat and then throw it all up. Besides that, the smell of the place was making him feel sick.

“Hey Pip you okay?”

Philip looked up to see everyone looking at him.

“Laf asked if you want anything” Hercules said and put a hand on Philip’s shoulder “You okay, kid?”

“Yeah I’m fine. And I don’t need anything Laf.” Philip said with a small smile.

He didn’t want Laf spending money on shit he wasn’t going to eat, well he’d eat it but he’d throw it all up so he might as well not eat.

“Are you sure mon chou?” Lafayette asked and Philip quickly nodded.

Lafayette shot a quick glance at Alexander who shrugged and walked to the cash register to place in their orders. When they got back they helped Philip and Alexander set up their phones. Everyone exchanged phone numbers and then began talking about random things until Laf was called to get their order. Philip was playing with his phone trying to figure out how everything worked, when Laf pushed a cheeseburger and fries in front of him.

Philip looked at Lafayette and raised an eyebrow.

“Mon chou, you have yet to eat today and it is already eight in the pm.”

Philip wasn’t in the mood to argue nor did he have the energy.

He sighed and smiled “Thank you dear sibling.”

Lafayette smiled triumphantly and sat down. The rest of the time everyone talked and joked and laughed. Over the next forty minutes Philip had managed to force himself to eat everything and not run to the restroom to puke it all up. He felt accomplished with this since he usually had so much trouble eating. Maybe he’d finally start eating right again, he’d just have to make himself eat. And maybe this would be a good family. Philp smiled and watched as Laf, Herc, John, and Alex talked.

‘Maybe I can be normal again.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know anymore. I really dont want to abandon this fic it honestly really fun to write. Oh well hope you're enjoying so far. Also I think it's cute that Herc calls Philip kid or kiddo so yea fight me. also pip is so cute I should stop hurting him. This is so short okay bye


	6. Jealousy(filler/bonus)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya bonus/filler chapter. The first half is Alex's POV of when the were at the phone store place(??) and then the next half is Philip's at the clothing story. I'm very unwell and exhausted physically and mentally and forcing myself to write this so enjoy.

Alexander looked at all the different cases before noticing John was looking at turtle phone cases.  

“You like turtles?” He asked. John looked at him and shrugged.  

“Yeah. I guess” He said with a smile as he put down the phone case he’d been holding.  

“My brother, Philip, He likes turtles as well” Alexander said looking over to Philip whose was with Lafayette and Hercules.  

John nodded and picked up a case “Hey Alex, what about this one?” Alexander looked at John who was holding a case with a small cartoon lion. “Laf calls you their little lion, so I assumed you liked lions, I guess…”  

“I do actually.” Alexander smiled and took the case “Thanks”  

John smiled and they walked over to the others. 

“So, do you have a favorite turtle John?” Alexander asked as Lafayette went to pay for everything. 

“If I had to choose,"  John thought for a second. " I would have to say a soft-shelled turtle, despite how ‘odd’ it looks.” He finished with a smile he kept talking about how amazing turtles were. 

Alexander smiled and felt himself falling more in love with the boy he’d only met less than an hour ago. He’d had crushes before that didn’t last long at all. Those people came and went and most of them never really interacted with Alexander. The only person he’d dated was a girl named Eliza who he’d met during his first foster home. He remembered the two of them had dated for a few weeks and then Eliza realized she was gayer than gay so they just decided to remain friends. Then she moved and Alexander and Philip were sent to another home.  

Alexander jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Alexander looked up to see John looking at him expectantly.  

“Did you hear anything I just said? Are you okay Alex?” He asked. Alexander blinked and nodded. 

“I’m fine. Uh what did you say?” He asked. John blushed lightly and shook his head. 

“Nevermind. Don’t worry about.” he said.  

All Alexander said was "oh" and looked over at Philip who was playing with the sleeves and glancing up every few seconds. Alexander followed his eyes to see the total price of everything, which was a lot. 

"Oh God! Lafayette that’s a lot of money! You really don't need to..!"  

Lafayette just laughed and put in the credit card pin.  

* * *

"The yellow one would look better on him!"  

"Blue would look SO much better!"  

Lafayette and Hercules continued to argue over what color of flannel would look best on Philip, While Philip tried to tell them it didn't really matter, mostly because they'd been arguing over the same thing for almost an hour and Alexander and John were laughing about the whole thing  

"Why don't I just try them both on, how's that?" He asked in an attempt to calm them both down. They both nod and push him towards the dressing room, with John and Alexander trailing behind. 

Philip walked into one of the dressing rooms and made sure he'd locked the door before taking off his hoodie and shirt. He made sure not to look at the mirror as he changed. He didn't want to see the bruises or scars that had yet to heal, but mostly because he didn't want to see himself. 

Philip tried the blue flannel on first and exited the dressing room. Herc and Laf were still arguing but not as loud, and Alexander was still talking with John, So Philip just stood there waiting for them to notice him. To his surprise he didn't wait long to be noticed, less than a minute. 

"Oh look at mon chou! See! Le bleu semble incroyable!" Lafayette exclaimed walking over to him "Herc just! Look at him!"  

"Yeah but the yellow would look better!" Hercules said also walking over to them. "Philip try on the Yellow one" 

Philip blushed at the attention and looked over at Alexander to see what he thought of it, before storming back to the dressing room leaving Herc and Laf. He took his hoodie he was wearing before and screamed into it, threw it and then proceeded to take of the flannel. 

Alex hadn't even bothered looking over him, he was so busy talking to John he didn't bother noticing him. Philip remembered when Alex was dating Eliza and She was the only, literally the only thing she talked about. The only difference was Philip knew Eliza and He absolutely loved her, She treated him like a little brother and He even confided in her, But Philip didn't know John and his brother was heads over heels in love with him. 

Philip was so busy think about how he'd been ignored, he didn't notice one of the buttons of the flannel had gotten stuck in his hair and when he pulled it tugged his hair as well. "SHIT!" He hissed trying to get the button out of his hair.  

Philip heard a knock at the dressing room door. "Mon chou? Est-ce que tu vas bien?" It was Lafayette.  

"I, uh, Got a button stuck in my hair. " 

"Do you need help?" 

"Uh yeah.." 

Philip hesitated but decided he trusted Laf so he unlocked the room door and Lafayette walked in locking the door back behind him. They turned to him and frowned. Philip thought maybe he did something wrong but then he noticed he wasn't exactly wearing a shirt and so his bruises and scars were showing. He tried to cover his body with his arms but there were bruises plus scars along his arm. 

"I fall a lot. And, uh, cats don't l-like me all that much.." He lied hoping that Laf wouldn't ask about it. He wasn't sure if they believed it or not but they didn't ask about it. The two of them sat on the ground as Lafayette proceeded to try and get the button out his hair. They sat in quiet until Philip decided to break. 

"You know," He started then smiled "you and Hercules argue like a married couple" He finished with a small laugh.  

Lafayette blushed and tugged Philip's hair causing him to yelp.  

"Shut up mon chou..." they mumbled. Philip smiled and then it was quiet again, which Philip didn't mind, He liked the quiet.   

"I'm sorry" Lafayette blurted out.  

Philip jumped from the sudden noise looked up at them confused "What why?" He asked. 

"Me and Hercules arguing" They explained "C'est pourquoi vous étiez en colère, non?" 

"That not why I was upset. Don't worry about it Laf"  

"Oh thank God"  

Philip smiled and looked back down as Lafayette continued trying to get button out.  

"Why did you get upset mon chou? If I may ask" They asked  

Philip shrugged "I don't really know." He started "I guess I was upset because..." He bit his lip unsure whether or not to tell Lafayette. What if they thought Philip was being stupid? Or an attention whore? Or thought he was just, plain needy?   

"Philip? Are you alright?"  

Philip was snapped back to reality when he heard Lafayette's voice. He nodded and took a deep breath.  

"Jealousy. I'm jealous because my brother's paying more attention to someone he just met-oh god I sound so.. Needy, ugh.." 

 "Oh, Philip, It's alright." Lafayette started finally getting the button out of his hair. "I mean, I've never actually had siblings before, so I wouldn't know how you feel but I would think you should tell Alexander."  

Philip sighed "Maybe" He said as he felt Lafayette lift his arm and slide the sleeve of the yellow flannel on.  "I can dress myself!"  

"I'm trying to be a good sibling!"  

"Oui maman." 

"Vraiment?"  

"Oui."  

Laf laughed and shook their head as they buttoned up the flannel. When they finished they stood up and helped Philip up before going to unlock the door.  

"So you never had other siblings before?" Philip asked. 

Lafayette turned back to him. "Well, I had.. Have a brother... Somewhere, we were, how you say, separated."  

"Alex and I have a brother somewhere to. What was his name?" 

"Georges.. What was your brothers name?" 

"James."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long note  
> Translations:  
> Le bleu semble incroyable!-Blue seems incredible!  
> Est-ce que tu vas bien?-Are you fine/alright?  
> C'est pourquoi vous étiez en colère, non?-That's why you were angry, right?  
> Oui maman.- Yes mom.  
> Vraiment?- Really?  
> I don't mean for Philip to come of as needy but Alex has been the only person there for him since their mother passed soo,,  
> Also I didn't state this in the last chapter but these are everyone's names in Philip's phone(since it's mostly his pov).  
> Philip:  
> Alex- Alexander Salamander  
> John- Mr. steal your brother  
> Herc- Dad  
> Laf- Mom


	7. In which the kids watch movies and stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for suicidal thoughts, self harm/purging(?), and self hate  
> I don't know what else to do so a small time skip I guess sorry, also sleepy over even though it's over used but I needed and excuse to do a thing ;)) also still not a lot of motivation but i'm practically being pressured to write this so it's not to good but it's satisfactory

 Could this day get any worse? That's exactly what Philip asked himself as he laid down on his bed. He'd thought having someone try to steal his brother, forcing himself to eat and someone seeing his bruises and scars from previous homes was bad enough. Apparently he thought wrong because Lafayette ended up asking John and Hercules if they wanted to stay over.   

Philip wouldn't have minded if just Hercules had come over, only because he liked Hercules and you can't have an uneven amount of people otherwise everyone else is talking to each other and your left out because no one wants to choose to talk to you so they talk to someone else and since there's an uneven amount of people they don't have to feel bad for ignoring you. Not that they'd feel bad anyway. They'd probably be talking about how glad they are that you aren't included and that they wish you would just disappear- 

Philip shook away the thoughts and sat up on his bed. He debated whether or not to go downstairs or stay in his room. He figured he might as well since Laf would make him sooner or later and if he stayed alone with his thoughts any longer it probably wouldn't end well. He got up from the bed and made his way downstairs. 

When he got downstairs Lafayette, Hercules and John were arguing.  

"Laf we've watched Beauty and the Beast like a thousand times!" 

"In a row!" 

"I live here! I can do what I want!" 

 Philip walked over to Alexander who was sitting on the couch writing in his notebook.  

"What are they arguing about?"  

"Arguing over a 'Disney' movie or something" 

"What is a Disney?" 

Alex shrugged causing Laf to gasp and pretend to faint, leaning against. John shook his head 

"Everyday we stay further and further from God's light.." 

"We cannot allow this to go on any longer" Hercules said and Laf and John nodded in agreement. They showed Philip and Alexander three movies and asked them to pick one. Alexander quickly chose Lion King, while Philip took a few minutes to choose between Moana(The best movie) and Beauty and the Beast.   

He eventually chose Moana causing Lafayette to sadly put away Beauty and the Beast. They decided to watch lion king first and Laf put the DVD in the player before going to the kitchen to get popcorn. When they came back they sat in between Philip and Hercules as the movie started.  

* * *

Philip stared at the ceiling as the credits of Moana played on the television. He was surprised he stayed up so late since he never stays up late. Not because he had to sleep early but he honestly wanted to sleep and never wake up or just disappear or maybe die in his sleep. He remembered his cousin killed himself because he couldn't live anymore, he took the easy way out. Dying is easy, living is harder. 

If he was never born maybe everything wouldn't be so bad. He wouldn't have got sick and his mother wouldn't have had to take care of him and Alexander and she wouldn't have also gotten sick and died. If he wasn't born his cousin wouldn't have killed himself because he had to take of two kids while he still need to care for himself. Maybe his dad wouldn't have left because he didn't want to take care of a mess like Philip. 

Philip felt his breath quicken as he looked around him. Everyone was asleep, Lafayette lay curled up next to Hercules and Alexander's head was on John's shoulder as they both slept peacefully. Tears started to escape Philip's eyes as he got up and quickly walked to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. 

He splashed water in his face trying to calm himself down, and looked up in the mirror instantly regretting it. He ran a hand through his as more tears trickled down his face. 

 _"You look like hell."_  

Suddenly all Philip could feel was sickness. Not sadness, not hurt, just sickness. Sick in his head and sick in his stomach. He didn't know why he felt so sick and he didn't care why he just wanted the feeling to stop, to be gone. 

Philip moved over to the toilet, getting on his knees before sticking a finger in the of his throat and vomiting. He was surprised he was able to since he'd barely eaten. It wasn't the best thing to do but It got rid of the sick feeling. 

Philip stood up, breathing heavily and relying on the counter for support. He washed his hand and face and stumbled out of the bathroom. He didn't make it back to the living room and ended up sitting in the hall hugging his knees. 

He closed his eyes and hummed quietly to himself. He wished he could just feel normal and happy like he was three hours ago, smiling and talking with his new friends and now he's here regretting being alive and wanting to disappear.  

He sighed and look down at his hands which still had a few cuts from that morning. "Why are you like this?" He asked as tears began to form in his eyes once again. 

"Philip?" 

Philip jumped at the sudden noise and looked up to see John looking at him slightly concerned. "Are you doing okay?" He asked as he sat down next to Philip. Philip wasn't  sure why John was talking to him or why he seemed like he was ready to listen to Philips problems, which were stupid and unimportant. 

"I'm.. Fine" Philip answered trying not to let the tears in his eyes fall down his face, because if he started crying John would think he was a baby and tell the others an Lafayette would hear and realized how much of an annoyance Philip was and tell the Washington's and they would give Philip away and they might give Alex away too and Alex would hate him because he wouldn't be able to see John anymore and- 

"Philip?" 

Philip blinked, not having noticed his breathing quicken and looked over at John who was clearly worried. John let out a sigh and smiled. "Thank God! I thought you were having a panic attack-" 

"Do you like my brother?" Philip blurted out, interrupting John. John's face turned bright red and looked away from Philip. "I-I mean- I do like him, Like he's nice and everything, and he's really attractive, and I could get lost in those eyes, and could listen to him talk for hours- B-but in a friend way!" John stuttered blushing even harder, which made Philip laugh quietly. 

"If you're worried about us being homophobic we aren't" Philip explained. 

John let out a sigh of relief. " well that’s good to know." Philip smiled and they sat in silence for the next ten minutes till John spoke up. 

"Uhm... Can I... Ask you something" He asked. 

Philip shrugged. "sure" 

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" 

Philip thought for a second. "Well I don't. But I don't know what falling in love is like. But if you're in love with Alex and you just met then maybe it's real." 

John nodded and there was silence again.  

"Oh and in case you were wondering," Philip said looking at him with a smile "Alexander is bisexual" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah the only reason for this chapter was for Philip to start liking John a bit Also I really love Moana if you canT tell Im crying because I feel this is so ba d


	8. Get in losers we're going shopping(to the park)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was kinda sorta rushed because I promised one of my favorite readers it would be up today and yea h still saturday my timezone h A

The first week at the Washington's went by surprisingly smoothly for both Philip and Alexander.  Though neither of them fully trusted their foster parents, they were comfortable enough to be in a room with one of them without thinking about every possible negative outcome. Unlike the Hamilton's previous foster parent's, George never came home from his work angry or reeking of alcohol and smoke and Martha never yelled when they broke something or made slight mistakes. 

Alexander and Philip were both lying on Alexander's bed, reading. Philip stared out the window as he listened to Alexander read. It was a nice day outside, it was a bit cloudy but still nice. Philip felt his phone viberate in his pocket and he heard Alexander's buzz as well as he closed his book to see who had texted them. 

 _From:_ ** _Mr._** ** _Steal_** **_your brother_** _To:_ ** _You_** _,_ ** _Alexander Salamander_** _,_ ** _Mom_** _, and_ ** _Dad_**  

 **Mr. Steal your brother:** get in losers 

 **Dad:** we're going shopping 

 **Mom:** la baise?? 

 **Dad:** It's alexander and philip's last day of freedom 

 **Mr. Steal your brother:** **b** efore they go to the prison adults call school 

 **Alexander Salamander:** But I like school. 

 **Dad:** this kid uses uppercase letters :00 

 **Mom:** and punctuation :00 

 **You:** Alex is a smarty pants 

 **Alexander Salamander:** Pip no. 

 **You:** Pip yes  

 **You:** are you mad at me  

 **Alexander Salamander:** I could never be mad at you. 

 **Mom:** Aren't my brothers so cute? 

 **You:** N o 

 **Mr. Steal your brother:** just- 

 **Mr. Steal your brother:** come outside were waiting for y'all 

Philip smiled at Alexander who smiled back, then put his phone away as they both headed downstairs. When they got downstairs Lafayette was already by the door waiting.  

"Hercules et John nous attendent, frères."  

* * *

 

"I still can't believe you both have never been to a carnival." Hercules said as he parked the car next to a park. 

"We'll have to take them sometime."  John suggested as he got out the car along with the others. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see it was Philip. 

"You should take Alex to a carnival on your first date" He teased causing John to blush and playfully push Philip.  

"Oh shut up" He said turning to Alexander, who was on the other side of the car talking with Lafayette and Hercules and smiled.  

"Laurens. Your gay is showing." Philip whispered which made John blush more causing Philip to laugh. John blinked when Philip laughed, the laugh sounded slightly forced and fake. He was about to ask Philip about it when the others came to the other side of the car.  

Lafayette walked over and whispered something to Philip  who smiled and nodded before he, Lafayette and Hercules run of leaving John and Alexander alone.  

 _Alone with Alexander._  

John turned to Alexander, who was staring at him. 

"Uhm, Is there something on my face, Alexander?" John asked. Alexander face turned a light shade of red and he shook his head. 

"Just uh... counting you freckles." 

"Oh." John said as the two of them began walking through the park. They walked in an awkward silence before Alexander decided to break it. 

"Did you know that Cherophobia is the fear of fun?" Alexander said randomly and blushing of embarrassment after. 

John blinked before chuckling and smiling. "No I didn't know that. Can you tell me other things?" He asked which made Alexander smile as he continued stating other facts. 

 _Oh how J_ _ohn_ _loved_ _his voice._  

* * *

 

"-that is why chocolate shouldn't be considered a salad. I honestly don't understand how Pip could think that, I doesn't work that way." Alexander said finishing his rant. 

"Well he's not completely wrong you know-" 

"Oh John not you too!" 

John laughed as Alexander shook his head. "Alexander, can I ask you something?" 

Alexander turned to him and nodded. 

"How are you and Philip so close? I mean I have two sister's and honestly can't stand them, but you get along so well with your brother." 

John immediately regret asking the question after he saw the look in Alexander's eyes. He was remembering something. Something painful. 

"Are you okay Alexander? You don't have to answer, I'm sorry for asking-" Alexander cut John off. 

"No it's fine, you don't need to be sorry." He said sitting back against the park bench they were sitting on. 

"Me and Philip have.. Been through a lot I guess. We've been through almost a dozen homes, and we've lost a lot of people close to us." He said then looked back over at John. "And you never know when you could lose that person. So you cherish  them. And when you almost lose them you learn to love them even more" 

John just nodded as they stared at each other, in silence, neither of them noticing there faces getting closer. 

 _A_ _nd closer._  

 _"_ There you both are!" 

John and Alexander jumped away from each other both blushing madly. They turned to see Lafayette, Hercules, and Philip, who had leaves in his hair. 

"This kid fell out of a tree" Hercules said as Philip just laughed. 

"Oh god, Philip" Alexander said as he walked over to Philip and started pulling leaves out of his hair. 

"Alex stop! Your pulling my hair- Ow!" 

"Well stop falling out of trees!" 

John smiled watching them.  

 _He's so in love with Alexander Hamilton._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> random fact: if you pretend to be happy your anxiety can get worse so rip at pip   
> I posted be happy Childs  
> This chapter was happy-ish so get ready for possible angst  
> Also the chocolate being a salad thing was a joke my old friend told me so sorry I used it twice.


	9. late night texting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block is a bitch  
> hopefully, an actual chapter is out next week

Alexander laid in his bed and stared at the wall. It wasn't like he wanted to be awake at four  in the morning when he had to go to school, he couldn't sleep, his thoughts would not let him. His mind never stopped going. If he fell asleep something bad might happen. The night he falls asleep might be the night the Washington's quit acting nice and start beating him like his previous foster parents. Or they might hurt Philip. Or worse they might- 

"No, No, No! Stop thinking that!" Alexander said to himself angrily. Philip always said it wasn't his fault and that he shouldn't blame himself for what happened. Alexander wanted to believe that was true, he really did, but he knew it wasn't, and he was sure Philip didn't believe it either.  That...  **incident**...  Was all his fault. He's Philip's older brother. He's supposed to protect Philip from people like... **that**. 

Alexander was removed from his thought when his phone buzzed and lit up on the nightstand by his bed. He sat up and reached to grab it to see a text notification from John. He smiled unlocking his phone and read the message. 

 **My dearest Laurens,:** hey  

 **My dearest Laurens,:** you probably arent awake rn  

 **My dearest Laurens,:** but text me in the morning 

 **My dearest Laurens,:** if you want :')) 

 **You:** Good morning. 

 **My dearest Laurens,:** Boi why are you not asleep!?! 

Alexander laughed quietly and quickly replied 

 **You:** I have insomnia. 

 **My dearest Laurens,:** oh :'00 

 **You:** Why are you awake?  

 **My dearest Laurens,:** Bad dream 

 **You:** Do you wish to talk about it? 

 **My dearest Laurens,:** Gee so formal 

 **My dearest Laurens,:** And I'd prefer not to sorry.  

Alexander's heart sank a little. 

"You've only known him a week. He's not gonna tell you everything." He thoughg before replying. 

 **You:** It's alright 

 **My dearest** **laurens** **,:** sorry again 

 **My dearest** **laurens** **,:** I'm gonna try and sleep 

 **My dearest** **laurens** **,:** night 

 **You:** Goodnight, Laurens. 

Alexander placed his phone back on the nightstand and plugged it in to charge. He laid back down waiting for the sun to rise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This only like 350+ word s  
> I'm sorry but I haven't update in forever  
> and y'all needed an update  
> oh and tiny bit of pheacker next chapter maybe


	10. Oh school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sick and my lover broke up with me so I'm dying atm but sorry this is late oops  
> btw this is kinda choppy sorry also rushing to post this so sorry if stuff is missing

Alexander didn't fall asleep. Even after talking to  John he was still too paranoid to sleep, so he'd spent the rest of his night staring at the ceiling. Alexander checked his phone too see the time. It was six am. Two hours till school, which meant he had about that long to get ready for school. 

He sat up and got out of his bed before quickly picking out an outfit and leaving his room to shower. As he left his room his room he made sure to check Philip's room to be sure he was alright. He knocked on Philip's door and when he heard Philip say come in he opened the door. Philip was on his bed, already dressed and organizing his backpack. He looked up at Alexander and smiled. 

"Good morning, Alexander!" Philip chirped happily.  

"Morning, Pip." Alexander said smiling at his younger brother, knowing why he was so happy. 

Philip had finished his junior year early and was going to be a senior with Alexander which was more convenient for the both of them. 

"I'm going to shower." 

"Okay, see you downstairs then?" Philip said putting his backpack on. 

Alexander nodded and continued towards the bathroom. He locked the door the door behind him and turned on the shower before undressing and stepping under the running water. 

* * *

 

Alexander thought  about how his first day would go. It would be easier to plan it out if he had a schedule, but that wouldn't matter since he'd most likely fall off track as he wasn't too good at following schedules or keeping time. Alexander laughed to himself remembering how he'd spoken for almost six hours at a debate at his old schools. 

Besides it being his first day of school, he was excited to see John again. Though he had seen him the day before he found himself wanting to see him again. They'd barely known each other a month and Alexander was already hopelessly in love with the other male.  

Not to mention they'd almost kissed. Alexander turned red at the thought. John returning his feelings was highly unlikely. The two of them were a million worlds apart. 

Alexander sighed as he quickly washed his hair and turned off  the water before stepping out of the shower and drying his hair. As he dried he turned towards the mirror as he noticed a few bruises from previous homes that had yet to heal.  

He tore his eyes from the mirror and quickly slipped on a t-shirt, a pair of jeans and a green hoodie. He tied his hair up in a ponytail before depositing his other clothes in the laundry room and heading downstairs. When he got downstairs he walked towards the dining room where Philip and the rest of his "family" were sitting at the table. 

"Good morning Alexander" Martha said with a smile. 

"Good morning, Mrs. Washington." Alexander replied sitting next to Philip who was writing. "Good morning, Mr. Washington."  

"Good morning, Son. Did you sleep well?" George asked. 

Alexander almost told George not to call him son but decided against it. 

"I slept alright." Alexander lied and turned to Lafayette. "Good morning, Laf."  

"Good morning, Mon petit lion." Lafayette said not looking up from the homework they were hurrying to finishing.  

"Would you like breakfast, Alexander?" Martha asked standing up from her seat. 

Alexander smiled  and nodded "Yes please." He answered. 

Martha nodded and started making her way towards the kitchen before stopping and turning to Philip. "Philip, are you sure you don't want to eat?" Martha asked with hope filled eyes. 

Philip looked up at her and shook his head. "I'm not hungry." He said forcing a small smile. 

Martha nodded and continued to the kitchen. Philip looked back down and continued writing. Alexander looked at Philip and raised an eyebrow. 

"Por que no comes?" Alexander asked hoping  for an answer. 

Alexander noticed Philip slightly tense up. "No tengo hambre?" He answered though it sounded more like a question. 

Alexander rolled his eyes "No has tenido hambre durante casi una semana." He retorted.  

"Simplemente no, de acuerdo?" He said coldly, causing Alexander to sigh but decided to leave it alone.  

* * *

 

"Have a nice first day, dears." Martha said with a smile.  

"Stay safe and don't get into trouble." George said standing next to his wife. 

Alexander nodded as well as Philip. Lafayette kissed both their parents goodbye before waving as they walked towards their car followed by their brothers.  

"Etes-vous tous les deux prets?" They asked  as they put on their seatbelt and started the car. 

"Never been more ready" Alexander said with a smile. Lafayette smiled back and pulled out the drive way. 

"How about you, mon chou?" Lafayette asked glancing back at Philip who was staring down at his notebook. There was a hint of worry in Philip's eyes and he seemed to be deep in thought. When he didn't reply Alexander looked back to him. 

"Pip, are you alright?" He asked, worried. Philip jumped slightly and looked up at Alexander. Philip smiled and nodded.  

"I'm fine, just a bit nervous." He said. 

Alexander nodded and faced forward as they continued towards the school.  

* * *

 

When they arrived at the school, Lafayette walked Alexander and Philip to the front office where the two of them got their schedule's. 

"Okay so Philip you have math first and Alex has art." Lafayette said reading their schedules. "Oh John has art with you, Mon lion." They said smiling at  Alexander. Alexander couldn't help but smile at that.  

Maybe today would be more than alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to just make everyone in the same grade cause it's easier for me and flows better with the story. Philip is the youngest out of everybody atm.  
> translations:  
> spanish:  
> Por que no comes? - Why don't you eat?  
> No tengo hambre - I'm not hungry  
> No has tenido hambre durante casi una semana.- You have'nt been hungry for almost a week.  
> Simplemente no, de acuerdo? - I'm just not, okay?  
> French:  
> Etes-vous tous les deux prets? - Are you both ready?
> 
> Oh and sorry no pheacker oop s


	11. A new friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beep Boop an update and surprise surprise it's not late af. It's not my best chapter but it's good I guess.

The first thing Philip did when he got his schedule compared it to Alexander's. He was disappointed that they had only two classes together which were English and History. There were another thirty minutes before classes started so Lafayette decided to show them their lockers and then walked each of them to their classes. Philip's first class was math with Ms. Honey.

When Philip said goodbye to his siblings and walked into the classroom the class was already half filled. Philip took a deep breath and walked to the back of the class trying to ignore the few stares he got. He sat in one of the seats in the back and pulled his notebook out of his backpack. He started drawing little turtle in his book around one of the poems he'd written.

Philip was so focused on his doodles, he didn't notice someone walk up behind him and tap his shoulder. He jumped slightly and turned around to see a girl with black curly hair, dark brown skin and brown eyes.

"Oh, I didn't mean to startle you." She apologized.

"Oh, it's fine..." Philip said closing his notebook.

"You're new, right?" She asked but before Philip could answer she continued. "My name is Theodosia Burr, nice to meet you..."

"Philip Hamilton," Philip said surprised someone was talking to him. "Nice to meet you as well."

Theodosia smiled and sat down in the seat next to him. Just then the teacher, Ms. Honey, walked in and everyone else in the classroom sat down as well.

"Alright, class today we have a new student." Ms. Honey said standing at the front of the class.

Philip prayed to God that she possibly talking about someone else. He also hoped that if she was talking about him she wouldn't ask him to go up to the front of the class.

"Philip Hamilton? Could you come up to the front of the class?"

Despite not wanting to stand in front of the class, Philip didn't want to get in trouble on his first day so he slowly got up from his seat and walked to the front of the class.

"Uhm... Hi, my name is Philip Hamilton? W-With one 'L' though. Not two. Though A lot of people make that mistake, my name just has one." Philip stopped talking because he didn't want to spend the next ten minutes explaining why so many people spelled his name wrong.

"Alright, thank you, Philip, you may sit down now." Ms. Honey said with a smile.

Philip nodded and quickly walked back to his seat, careful not to trip, and sat down as Ms. Honey began the lesson.

"You seem a bit nervous Philip," Theodosia said opening her book.

"Um yeah, I guess I am," Philip said, slightly embarrassed, as he pulled out his book as well.

Theodosia gave him a reassuring smile before looking forward and paying attention to the lesson. Philip took out his pencil and did the same.

* * *

 

After the bell rang Philip put his supplies in his backpack and got up to leave. As he left the classroom he heard Theodosia call after him.

"Hey Philip, wait for a second!"

Philip waited by the classroom door for Theodosia to finish packing up her stuff. When she came out, Philip noticed she was at least two or three inches taller than him.

"What's your next class, Philip?" Theodosia asked.

Philip pulled out his schedule and read it "Um, I have science." He told her.

"Aw, I've got English. Maybe I'll see you during my third period?" She asked.

"History?"

"Yup, Same! I'll see you then, Philip!" Theodosia said as she turned to leave.

"Okay then, bye," Philip said as he turned to leave but then stopped. "Oh um, Theodosia?"

Theodosia stopped and turned around "Yes?" She asked.

"So, does this um..." He fidgeted nervously as he looked for the right words, "Does this, like, make us friends?" He finished.

Theodosia smiled and nodded. "Of course, it does!" She answered.

Philip smiled. "Okay," He said as he turned away again. "Bye Theodosia." He said with a wave as continued to his next class with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the fastest I've updated since I started this fan fiction. Yay, the boyo made a friend. This chapter is low key short. Also, there's a reference from another musical that probably no one knows.  
> Btw my name is also Philip and people spell it with Two 'L's' all the time so yeah it's kind of annoying :')).


	12. More friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly have no clue what I'm doing anymore  
> Enjoy or whatever

After the second bell rang, Philip waited for the rest of the class to finish pushing out the door before getting up and making his way to the door. As he started making his way to his next class he felt someone grab his wrist. Philip pulled his wrist away and swung around to see who touched him. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw it was just Theodosia.

"Woah, Philip chill," She said with a small laugh.

"S-sorry Theodosia," He said giving a nervous smile.  

Theodosia smiled and shook her head "Don't worry about it. Anyway, since we have the same class next I'll walk with you." 

Philip nodded as the two began walking to their next class. 

"Oh also, in my second period there was this new kid, Alexander Hamilton. He had the same last name as you so I assume you're related?" Theodosia said though the end sounded like a question.

"Oh yeah, Alexander's my brother" Philip replied with a smile.

"Ah thought so," Theodosia said. "He writes really fast. Almost like he's running out of time."

Philip laughed. "Yeah, I guess"

When they reached the classroom, Philip and Theodosia both walked through the door that was propped open. Philip scanned the room trying to find Alexander in the crowd of students who had yet to sit in their seats. When Philip spotted his brother sitting in a seat at the front of the class, he smiled and made his way towards him before he felt Theodosia grab his wrist and pull him in the opposite direction. Philip looked at her confused and she smiled.

"I want you to meet two of my friends, Philip" Theodosia said as they walked over to two other people who seemed to be quietly arguing.

"Hey Richard, hey Frances," Theodosia said letting go of Philip's wrist.

The two stopped arguing and looked over at Theodosia. One of them was a tall boy with dark brown hair and light brown skin. The other was a girl taller than both Theodosia and Philip but slightly shorter than the boy, with brown hair and a few freckles dotted across her face. If Philip didn't know better he'd think he'd found a long-lost twin. 

"Hey T." The boy said giving her a small wave. 

The girl smiled and hugged Theodosia, who hugged her back. "Hi Theo," She said before pulling away and looking at Philip. "Who's this?"

Philip blinked and smiled nervously. "I-I'm Philip. Philip Hamilton" He said extending a hand.

Frances smiled and shook his hand "I'm Frances Laurens. It's nice to meet you" 

Philip nodded in agreement before turning to the boy standing by Frances and extended a hand. The boy took Philip's hand and brought it to his lips before softly kissing the back of his hand. "Richard Price. A pleasure to meet you." He purred. 

Philip hesitantly pulled his hand and gave a small, uncomfortable smile. "N-nice to meet you..." He stuttered. 

Frances smacked the back of Richard's head and shook her own. "Cut it out Richard, you'll scare the poor kid." She said which made Theodosia laugh.

"Um, rude," Richard mumbled rubbing the back of his head

As the three of them continued talking to each other Philip pulled out his phone which vibrated in his pocket and unlocked it to see a text message from Alexander. He quickly opened the message and read it.

 **Alexander Salamander:** Who are you with?

Philip looked over to were Alexander was and saw him looking back him. Alexander smiled and waved to which Philip smiled back.

 **You:**  Some new friends I made

 **Alexander Salamander:** Are they nice to you?

 **You:** So far

After Philip sent the message the school bell rang and the teacher, who had been sitting at his desk in front of the class, told everyone to take their seats. Philip sat down next to Theodosia and was about to put his phone back in his pocket when he got another message from Alexander.

 **Alexander Salamander:**  I'll talk to you after class

Philip smiled and sent a simple 'okay' before pocketing his phone and pulling out his notebook as the lesson started.

* * *

 

After the teacher dismissed the class, Philip picked up his notebook and made his way towards the door. He slipped out the door and leaned against the wall, waiting for Alexander to leave the classroom.  He was about to text Alexander when he felt someone tap his shoulder.

"Hey Philip"

Philip turned around to see Theodosia, along with Richard and Frances. "Oh hi."

"Philip, would you like to sit with us at lunch?" Frances asked. 

Philip thought for a moment before shaking his head. “Sorry but I'm going to be with my brother. Thank you though” Philip answered with a small smile. “Sorry”

Frances shook her head and smiled. “It's alright. Don't worry about it. “ She said. 

“Well” Theodosia started, “If you change your mind you're welcome to join us.” She finished. 

Philip nodded and waved as the three walked away. Once they were out of site Philip looked back down at his phone to see Alexander had left a message. He smiled and quickly opened the message. After opening the message his smile slowly faded as he read. 

 **Alexander Salamander:** I'm going to be with John, Herc, and Laf so you don't have to wait for me.

Philip would have been lying if he said he wasn't upset by the text. He wasn't completely upset that Alexander didn't want to be around him. It was more of how Alex had wanted to see Philip after class then blew him off to be with three people they hardly knew.

Philip sent a simple 'okay' before putting his phone in his pocket. He took a breath and looked around for Theo, Frances, and Richard, hoping they hadn't gotten too far. When he spotted them, he noticed they were all at what he assumed was Frances' locker (Since she was putting her books inside it). Philip took another breath before walking over and lightly tapping Theodosia's shoulder. 

Theodosia turned and looked at Philip before smiling. "Hey, Philip." She said causing both Frances and Richard to both look over at him and smile as well.

"Hey, um..." Philip pulled nervously at his sleeve looking for the words to say without making anything awkward. "Is it still alright that I sit with you all at lunch...?" He asked getting quieter towards the end of his sentence. 

Theodosia smiled and nodded "Sure, you can Philip." She answered, "It's not like you have to ask anyway."

Frances nodded and closed her locker. She opened her mouth to speak but was cut of Richard.  “Of course we all know the real reason he's here is that he can't resist my charm.” He said flipping his hair. Frances rolls her eyes and playfully shoves Richard causing Theodosia to laugh at the two of them. 

Philip smiled at his three new friends. Despite being upset about his brother ignoring him it was kind of nice to be with new people for once. Though it may take time Philip was sure he could get used to being around his new group of friends. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I made Y'all wait nearly 5 months and then put out this garbage  
> I'm going to try and update more even though I'm sure no one cares about this anymore  
> Also sorry that I have clue what on earth I'm doing ack  
> Tell me if there's anything I can fix??


	13. SORRY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMALL APOLOGY FOR NO UPDATES

OKAY I KNOW I HAVENT POSTED IN THREE MONTHS AND I'M VERY SORRY

I'VE BEEN VERY STRESSED WITH SCHOOL BUT LUCKILY I'M ALMOST DONE SO I CAN POST AGAIN

THE CHAPTER IS ALREADY ALMOST DONE SO YEAH LOOK OUT FOR AN UPDATE THIS WEEK OR NEXT WEEK

alSO GEORGE FUckIN EACKER IS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER SO YEAH THATS HECKIN HAPPENING

THANK YOU ALL FOR BEIN SO PATIENT AND KIND OH MI GOLLU K BI


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